A Good and Perfect Gift from Above

Thoughts penned by Rachel Starr

The constant fading second line warned me of our fate. The excitement of this hopeful journey started to slip into a gradual ache. I was granted time to prepare my heart with a submissive response to my fear: “Lord, You are good all the time. You can give and take away, but I will still bless Your name. It is good for me to go through these things so that my compassion might increase.” The ability to hand my heavy burden to Him was a kind and freeing gift.

Within days of this prayer, that baby was no longer ours to keep. The tears fell as God knew they would. He understood our grief as only a Father, who had lost a Son, could. He held me close as I raised my hands to release to Him the child that was already in His arms. With the heartbreaking words of a prayer I had cried just three years before, I offered it once again, “Lord, I give this child back to You.”

The peace I felt within my shattered heart was a comforting and healing gift.

Then God granted me an answer to a question I only thought, but didn’t dare to ask. “Rachel, men may never see and admire every feature of the lives I formed within you, but that was never My intent when I first established them. It is true that I take joy in creating beautiful sights so that mankind may look up and declare My glory. They can see My handiwork in nature, and know that I AM GOD. But some of my creations I reserve for Myself. For centuries now I have been speaking life into plants grown in mountain crevices, creatures in dark obscure oceans, and infants deep within the womb. These life forms will never be discovered by the human eye, but that does not mean that they are a waste of My creativity. I took pleasure in shaping each and every one of them.” This reassurance of His plan was a powerful and gracious gift.

I pondered these thoughts and tried to imagine my children in their first and only home. Breathing their first breath of pure, heavenly air with bodies that glow in the presence of God. To only know perfect love from a Parent that will never disappoint him or her. To never know what physical pain feels like, or experience a desperate gasp for air when the heart is crushed deep within. To be free from the battle against his own flesh, or the attacks on her soul from the evil one. Only a perfect world to live in with clear minds to comprehend more deeply the love of their Creator. The hope of seeing them in such a magnificent place, dwelling with the One who loves them most is a remarkable and generous gift.

How could I, the mother of these blessed children, desire anything less perfect for them? How could 20, 40, 60 or even 80 years spend together in this broken world be compared to an eternity shared in a flawless heaven? God knew that the release of these children back to Him would be a painful sacrifice for one who cannot fully see His plan as He does. With limited knowledge of things not yet seen, we cling with faith to the promise that one day all will fully be revealed.

He meant it all for good.

The sacrifice of His own Son’s death secured the eternal lives of my unborn children, and now they live together in a place I long and await to see. So today, I will offer my most grateful sacrifice of praise for the guarantee of having these two children next to me for all of eternity.

“Thank you, God, for this good and perfect gift from above.”